the shadow

I have to appease the shadow in me that seeks to either rule and conquer or else desires to undo itself completely, to implode and dissolve in on itself like a black hole and take with it this whole messy world. End on all that is my small myopic world. The shadow whisper, “it’s all you, it’s only ever been you” —all  I touch, I taste, smell, hear, feel, every truth I have ever known,  every coordinate of my perceived reality has only ever been me, just an endless dream … they say that everyone you encounter in your dreams are only fragments of yourself that you are only ever talking to yourself, that every monster, every horror chasing you down endless corridors, and every little epiphany and comfort that is espoused and enlightens in that nowhere world is only ever you, echoed from somewhere deep inside of yourself, how then is it that such Angels and Demons can reside side-by-side and sleep within us, torture us and heal us and feel an utter truth and such normalcy until the break of dawn and then suddenly fade away “like tears in the rain”, and I am to believe that this awakening is into the one true world, how? there is no evidence no point of undeniable proof that this reality will not fold away into a far deeper truths and all I thought I knew would evaporate into Reality, the logic of my current being would become laughable and I might, chuckle silently at this world and how it seemed so real, seemed to make so much sense, as it slowly fades away to nothing.